


Stark-Sized

by Artemis_Dreamer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, FrostIron - Freeform, Humor, Jealous! Tony, Lime, M/M, Mild Smut, Nymphomaniac! Loki, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 11:42:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Dreamer/pseuds/Artemis_Dreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is incredibly jealous of Loki’s extensive collection of sex toys. After all, HE should be the only one pleasuring his gorgeous lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stark-Sized

SCENE: Tony’s Lab, Early Afternoon

“… and JARVIS, ‘tis the season, so put a few things on the donation list. Two million to the ASPCA, three mil to Amnesty International, and DUM-EE to a community college.”

The aforementioned robot gave what seemed to be an approximation of a resigned sob. Tony Stark was beyond ruthless when it came to registering the annual Christmas season memos.

Then, the billionaire smirked a bit. “Oh, also a camcorder and Loki’s sex toy collection to the NYU sorority.”

Loki was Tony’s semi-reformed villainous lover of nearly a year, and the genius was of the opinion that said lover was trying to make him feel PAINFULLY inadequate – with a collection of nearly one hundred increasingly large erotic toys.

“Stark? What are you doing?”

Speak of the proverbial devil. Loki himself was descending the last stair down into the lab proper, and had (hopefully not) caught the last bit of that memo.

“Ah, nothing at all, babe.” Tony tried for nonchalant, but got something more along the lines of a guilty stammer.

The trickster smirked dangerously. “Nothing? You are scheming to sell my collection, lover dear. Do not presume to lie to the God of Lies.”

Frickin’ entrapment. Tony had known darn well that his immortal lover would catch him in the lie, but dozens of prior terminated relationships meant that lying was now a conditioned reflex.

“Look, Lokes, I just think that it’s all a bit much. Maybe we can just pare… it down… a bit…”

The billionaire trailed off as his dangerous god’s frigid glare pinned him down, like a beetle to a corkboard. 

“You are threatened by them, Anthony. You cannot stand that I have the means to pleasure myself without even a second of your involvement.”

Well, that pretty much hit the nail on the head. (And then promptly kicked it in the balls.)

Danger still flickering in his eyes, Loki continued. “It is so utterly laughable, Stark. You well know that my collection ranges only from moderately large to the size of your member. Your prowess remains unchallenged.”

A flicker of pleased relief showed on the genius’s face as his lover spoke some comforting and ego-stroking words.

… well, they would have been comforting, had Tony not immediately caught sight of the “Cupid Boutique” gift bag that dangled from Loki’s elegant fingers.

A furrow of irritation crossed Iron Man’s brow.

“Jesus Christ, Lokes,” he snapped. “Seriously? You want me to believe all that shit, and you don’t even have the decency to hide THIS?”

The billionaire gestured to the gift bag with considerable annoyance; now it was Loki’s turn to be on the spot.

“It is only a trinket, Anthony. An article for us to share in our bedroom.” The trickster smoothly reassured his lover. 

A flawlessly told lie, if only Tony were still willing to believe those lies. Instead, he kicked a loose bolt across the concrete floor, and as the god briefly turned his head to follow its movement, Stark deftly snatched away the bag.

Oldest trick in the book.

“Ha!” The genius crowed triumphantly, fending off Loki as best he could while rifling through the bag. Yes, here was another toy for that obscene collection, and the box it came in was disturbingly large.

Ignoring the trickster’s continued (half-hearted) protests, he rapidly removed this latest toy from its packaging. His jaw just about dropped. 

“Stark-sized, Princess? You’re keeping things at that limit?” His tone was dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes…” A reflexive lie from the trickster, who had ceased to struggle.

“Lokes,” Tony snapped, holding up the massive vibrator disdainfully. “This thing must be four inches thick.”

It quite nearly was, an enormous black phallic contraption with gold vein detailing – priced at not a cent under eight hundred dollars, if you must know. Tony’s length and girth were impressive, yes, but this toy was impossibly large. 

It was little wonder that the genius’s thorough fuckings, which had once left the Loki nearly unable to stand, now barely prompted more than a mild limp. Little wonder, if the god had things like this up his ass in the meantime.

“I desired a challenge,” Loki replied, maintaining his composure and appearing completely unashamed. “After all, I require something to fill and entertain me when you are otherwise occupied.”

Not only did these blunt words cause a considerable tightness to form in Tony’s pants, they also called attention to the simple reality of why this impressive toy collection existed in the first place.

As it turned out, when you get a god horny and turned on for the first time in nearly a millennium, said god will remain horny and turned on for a VERY long time. As in, months.

Loki wasn’t implying that Tony couldn’t please him; those harsh words had another meaning.

The truth was that, despite the sheer bliss that hours upon hours of marathon sex brought to the couple, Tony’s actual responsibilities had to at some point intervene. Therefore, Loki’s utterly insatiable sexual appetite meant that the use of sex toys was almost inevitable. 

“Babe,” the inventor sighed, trying not to let his arousal speak for him. “There’s only so many meetings I can skip with my cock up your tight little ass. You know that.”

With those vulgar words, Tony regarded the poised façade of his lust-crazed lover; particularly the large bulge in the crotch of said lover’s pants. There was nothing like that tempting sight to get the genius REALLY turned on. 

Alright, enough nonsense.

“As of now, though,” the billionaire smirked, “denying you is exactly what I’m doing.”

He discarded the toy on the workbench behind him, and reached to teasingly grab his lover’s ass, caressing that delicious arousal with his free hand. “Because the only Stark-sized cock you’ll be getting from now on is the real deal.”

“Anthony-y-y.” 

The trickster gave a needy, denied whine, tugging Tony closer to grind his erection against the billionaire’s equally hard length.

Oh damn, but was this difficult to resist. As the genius began to succumb to the trickster’s lustful ministrations, calloused hands slipping under Loki’s green sweater, he gave one last smirk.

From now on, he would be the only one giving his trickster pleasure, whenever and however the god wanted it. Call it jealous and possessive, but in Tony’s mind it was the only acceptable solution. He was nailing a god, and not about to share that god with several dozen artificial lovers.

Reasonably speaking, this was a horrible idea-

\- Loki had shimmied off the billionaire’s pants, dropping to his knees to take said billionaire’s fully-erect length in his mouth. A lick, a taunting hum, and –

-ohgodyess, this was a fuckingfantastic idea.

After all, giving pleasure to his god meant receiving equal pleasure of his own.

\---

There would be many, MANY more missed meetings. There would be countless discarded lube bottles, sticky sheet sets, and days at a time spent locked in bedrooms – the smutty couple were thoroughly enjoying one-another, over and over again.

Pepper would be pissed off. Fury would be furious. The team would be almost completely neglected.

Ah, to hell with it.

Tony was the sole purveyor of pleasure to an achingly gorgeous and achingly aroused nymphomaniac god. To say that it was totally worth it was a severe understatement.

\---

Of course, in time, Tony would to some extent concede, so limply exhausted by weeks of sex that not even magic could restore his strength.

Loki would be allowed a single toy; one made by the genius himself to be the perfect substitute for his own cock. Logically, it would be vividly colored red and gold.

Now, that insatiable god could at last be properly satisfied, without his lover’s jealousy, because this new toy was solely said lover’s own creation.

Suffice to say that the testing phase would be beyond awesome, especially with JARVIS recording everything in high definition.

… oh, and they may have sort-of forgotten about Christmas.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> /end shameless crack and smut.
> 
> This was beyond fun to write, and I hope it wasn't that bad. It was inspired by a couple of sex toy scenes from LightonLight's 30 Day OTP Porn Challenge. (Plus a good dose of my usual insanity.)
> 
> Oh, and sorry for the pre-December Christmas references.
> 
> Any comments or feedback are most appreciated.


End file.
